Introspection

I don’t want to be here
staring at these walls of memories
I don’t want to leave here
dismantling pieces of me
Turning the mirror on myself
the reflection burns and it hurts like hell
I don’t want to force myself to see
the softer side of me
It’s easy to see the bad
relive mistakes and blown chances that I’ve had
Seeing any good is just too hard
to find beneath a web of scars
And when it gets to be too much
I back away, retreat from touch
The terrible is all I know
but it definitely makes for a better show
Kohl-rimmed eyes amplify my pain
the hurt inside, the word ‘insane’
The pills go down so effortlessly
a blur of life, a wave of ease
Tomorrow I’ll do it all again
it hurts to live but it hurts to end.